


Baby, it's time to go

by Writor



Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 00:38:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1724750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writor/pseuds/Writor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is in fact awake as Liam walks in the room. The doctor is beside his bed, talking about something that Liam zones out. Liam's smiling as he steps towards the bed and Louis finally looks in his direction. He's never been so happy to see those blue eyes, bright and sparkling, just like they should be. </p><p>"Hey babe, how you feeling?" </p><p>"W-who are you?" Louis asks. </p><p>(Louis gets in a car accident and loses his memory. Liam would give anything to get it back.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, it's time to go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not longer in the 1d fandom but I have a lot of fics on my laptop that I've spent writing and I feel like it's a waste of my time to delete them. However, I have no intention of finishing them, sorry.

"Let me guess, you're coming home late?"  
  
Liam stares at the meal that he'd spent hours preparing spread out on the dining room table. He sinks in to one of the chairs and closes his eyes as he waits for tonights excuse.  
  
"I'm sorry." Louis sighs down the phone. "Helen wants to go over the schools musical and I couldn't say exactly say no.."  
  
"Of course you couldn't." Liam mumbles.  
  
"I want to make sure all of my rascals get good parts." Louis continues to explain.  
  
Liam rubs a hand across the side of his face tiredly, thinking he should be angry. But then his mind wanders back to when his record company was first taking off. How he had spend nights cooped up in the studio and came home at early hours of the morning to Louis asleep on the couch, where'd he'd fallen asleep while waiting up for Liam. The anger disapears, all he wants is Louis to be home, to show him how much he's appreciated having him around for the past four years.  
  
"Just come home soon, yeah?" Liam tells him.  
  
"I'll try and wrap up as quickly as I can." Louis replies his voice small. "Go to bed, yeah? I don't need you being tired for work tomorrow."  
  
Liam humms an agreemant as he pulls himself up from the chair. He doesn't bother with clearing up the dishes, just switches off the kitchen light as he passes it on his way out.  
  
"Louis?" He asks quietly in to the receiver as he drags himself through the apartment.  
  
"Yeah, babe?"  
  
Liam pushes the door to their bedroom open, not bothering with the light switch as he shuffles across the room. "Tell me you love me."  
  
"I love you, Liam." Louis tell him instantly but it's quiet like someone is listening in to their conversation. There's a chance Louis is still in the room with Helen as he talks to Liam. He doesn't care, he wants to hear those words, just like he would if Louis were here to fall asleep with him.  
  
The bed is acomadating as Liam drops his tired body down on to it. There's no point in getting underessed, he thinks. It's not like he was going to get any sleep without having Louis curled up in his arms.  
  
"Try to sleep." Louis' soothing voice requests.  
  
Liam mumbles something incoherant and lets his eyes close over as the dial tone plays through his ears.  
  
\---

  
It's a few hours later, when Liam is dozing in and out of sleep, when he feels the bed dip beside him. Tiny hands trace under the shirt he hadn't bothered to remove and a cold nose presses against his neck.  


"What's the time?" He grumbles.  
  
"Two."  
  
Liam groans and re-closes his eyes, hoping now Louis was home he would at least get some proper sleep. If he walks in the studio with bags under his eyes, it's not going to look good for his buisness. Liam was a proffesional and he didn't want his employees or clients thinking he had some kind of sleep insomnia. Or worse, the truth, that he couldn't sleep without his boyfriend in touching distance.  


"Why are you still fully clothed, love?" Louis complains his fingers slipping from under Liam's shirt to the button on his jeans.  
  
  
Liam doesn't reply, the fatigue making his response limited. He simply lets the smaller boy strip him down until he's only in his boxers. Not even bothering to move that much as Louis attempts to pull the duvet out from underneath him.  
  
  
"I know you're tired, Li." Louis whines. "But you could be a little more helpful."  
  
  
There's an overwhelming silence in the room as Louis strips himself of his clothes and climbs in to bed with his boyfriend of four years.

The first year, this would have never been an option. Laying in to bed in nothing but boxers, heated skin pressed together. They were to young and hyped on hormones to ever be that close without sex evolving. The second year, it was more calm, simple kisses and long talks. Still yet to really know every inch of each other. The third year was when they became one with each other, they became LiamandLouis instead of Liam and Louis.  
  
Now, in their fourth year, they were settled. Slowly transporting from the honey moon faze to the married couple faze, it calmed Liam. To know that they were now so comforable with each other, that he didn't have to worry anymore. He was himself with Louis and Louis loved him for it, there was something amazing about that.  
  
  
"We'll go out to dinner tomorrow." Louis offers, cold feet pressing against Liam's ankles.  
  
"You have parents evening tomorrow." Liam reminds him mid yawn.  
  
  
Louis releases a small 'oh' and presses closer in to Liam's side. His wet lips moving gently against the skin of Liam's neck as his fingers trace shapes over the youngers boys chest.  
  
  
Sleep seems easier with Louis' soft touch against his chest and light breath against his neck. He tries not think to hard on the fact they hadn't speant a night together in over a month. Lets himself believe that for now, having Louis fall asleep in his arms each night, it was enough.  
  
\---  
  
Mornings in the Tomlinson/Payne household were always hectic. Louis wasn't a very organised person and Liam was a little OCD when it came to keeping the apartment clean. Meaning mornings  usualy consisted of Liam cooking breakfast while Louis frantically searched the apartment for the papers he had marked two nights previous.  
  
It took a lot for Liam to make Louis sit down and actually eat breakfast rather than rushing out the door (as soon as he found the papers). The puppy eyes were usually his easiest tactic to go with. Guilt was Louis' weak point and Liam used it to his advantage, looking from the coffee and eggs on toast resting on the island to his boyfriend.  
  
  
"Payne, in my arse." Louis grins.  
  
"Sometimes." Liam wiggles his eyebrows suggestivley.  
  
  
Louis full on laughs, the skin beside his eyes crinkling. There are more lines there now, more than when Liam had spotted him in the universtly library. Louis calls them his laugh lines, tells Liam there's only more because he's had more reason to laugh over the past four years.  
  
Liam smiles, the smile only Louis can bring out. There's a moment where they're just stood in the kitchen, staring at each other with amusement in their eyes. Until Louis bolts across it, wrapping his arms tightly around Liam's neck as he forcefully pushes his lips against the younger boys.  
  
Small hands clutch at his face as his own hands rest on Louis' waist. They kiss like they hadn't kissed in months (which they hadn't, not like this anyway) as if trying to convey something to each other, that neither could understand. Liam rests his forehead down against Louis' as they pull back from the kiss, heavy breath mixing.  
  
  
"Your breakfast is getting cold." Liam says.  
  
"Can't let that happen." Louis laughs a little lighter this time. "Not after you put so much love in to making it."  
  
"You'd be dead without me Louis Tomlinson." Liam states matter-of-factly.  
  
"That I would Liam Tomlinson." Louis smirks.  
  
Liam scoffs. "I am not taking your name."  
  
"But Louis Payne doesn't go." Louis whines.  
  
"Then I guess no one changes their names." Liam shrugs but tugs Louis closer so every inch of their bodies are touching.  
  
Louis' eyes meet Liam's as he says. "Louis Payne-Tomlinson, now that's a name."  
  
"Liam Payne-Tomlinson." Liam nods in agreemant."I like it."  
  
"Then it's settled." Louis presses his lips softly to Liams.  
  
"Isn't somone supposed to propose first?" Liam's brow furrows.  
  
"Hmm.." Louis grins pressing another kiss to the younger boys lips before pulling from his grip.  
  
  
Liam's to busy thinking of ways he could propose to really notice Louis' warmth leave him. It takes Louis throwing a peice of egg at his head, for him to break out of his thoughts. He gives the older boy a shocked look before grabbing a strawberry from his own breakfast and throwing it in Louis' direction.  
  
A small food fight insues which Liam knows he'll have to clean up once Louis has gone to work. Which Louis does eventually, after scoffing down his breakfast and gulping down his coffe. He presses a quick kiss to Liam's cheek, tells him not to wait up and the usual three words that make Liam grin stupidly. As the door shuts behind the older boy, the younger gets work on cleaning up the mess they had made of the kitchen. Mid morning studio sessions are a god send sometimes.  
  
+++  
  
"That's great Carla but I want you to really try and hit that high note, okay?" Liam tells the young brunette girl in the sound booth.

 

The final touches to her album had to be finished today, if they were sticking to her managments schedule. Liam was pretty proud of this one, it had been his baby for the past couple of months, using any time he had free to work on it.  The young girl was new on the scene, with a voice that brings hairs to the back of your neck. It had been easy for him to work with, her voice was natural which meant he didn't have to get the songs they recorded that edited.  
  
Carla nods from in the booth and Liam takes his finger off the voice button to flick on the backing track. The young girl begins to sing again and Liam leans his arms on the sound board as he waits, grinning when she reaches the high notes.  
  
  
"That's it!" He shouts with a thumbs up.  
  
  
Niall comes in to the room, carrying a tray of starbucks coffee and looking very flushed. Liam grins at him, his mood condiderable bright today thanks to Louis and now Carla.  
  
  
"Have you finishe yet?" Niall asks him, handing over one of the coffees.  
  
  
Liam nods his head as he takes a sip from the cup.  
  
  
"I think we deserve a break then." Niall cheers as Carla walks out of the booth to retreive her own coffee from him. After taking his own from the tray, he walks over to the back of the recording stuidio and flicks on the wide screen tv.  
  
  
Liam swivels his chair around, taking another sip from his coffee as he watches Niall change the channel. There's a footbal game on and the two men settle in to watching. Carla rolls her eyes, picks up her bag and tells Liam she's heading out for lunch. Liam offers her a polite goodbye as she leaves the room and Niall simply waves uncaringly over his shoulder.  
  
The game is Liverpool vs Manchester Utd. Which Liam didn't really care for, since his favorite team wasn't playing. Though he was sure Louis was checking the score on his phone during his breaks from teaching. Louis' team was loosing by two points and being a amazing boyfriend he is, he decides a supportive text might be in need.  
  
Though when he pats down his pockets for his phone, it's nowhere to be found. His eyes scan the room for a place he may have set it down, only to come up blank. Liam growns knowing he must have left it back at the flat.  
  
Liam decides to join the irishman on the couch, who was at the moment yelling profanties at the referee for offering Liverpool a penalty. Liam thinks if a clinet was to walk in now, they'd be in shit. Though he'd been thinking they'd be in shit the moment he agreed to be buisness partners.

They'd known each other since the first year of universty when their rooms were in the same flat. They instantly found a bond through music and after only a few weeks of knowing each other, decided to go in to buisness together. They worked throughout universty to build up a reputaion for the up and coming company. They saved money, doing any job they could to scrape a few bob (Liam) and even putting on music nights at the universty to get them noticed (Niall).

Once they had left universty they finally went all in, buying a recording studio with all the money in their pocket. Niall had to bunk on Liam and Louis' couch for a few weeks because he could barley afford food. It took them six months to sign their first artist, a band, that Liam had discovered on youtube. They worked day and night to make the first album they produced perfect. Liam was overwhelmed when they mananged to get it noticed, the band even managed to get a single in the charts.  
  
A year later, a few more artist's singed, they were living a dream. Making enough money for Niall to buy his own apartment and a derlict building that they're slowly turning in to an office.  
  
Liam was proud of how far they had come, it had taken blood (Liam), sweat (Niall) and tears (Louis) to get here. But they both had a dream that they were slowly accomplishing and he was pretty damn happy about that. He had his buisness, he had his friends and he had his Louis. Life seemed to be going pretty well on his end.  
  
+++  
  
They finished Carla's album that night, with a dominos pizza and a few beers to celebrate. Liam sends a text from Nialls phone to Louis saying he may be home a bit late (even though he knows Louis would be home later).  
  
Niall and Carla are singing a song about cheesy pizza when Zayn comes barling through the doors, flushed cheeked and red eyed.  
  
"L-Li.."  
  
"Zayn, are you okay?" Liam asks lifting himself from the picnic they had made on the floor.  
  
"Louis.." Zayn gulps.  
  
"What about Louis?" Liam panics but Zayn's shaking his head, unable to contain himself.  
  
Liam puts his hands on the older boys shoulder and shakes him. "Zayn, where's Louis?"  
  
"Li.." Niall's calm voice comes from behind him.  
  
"Where is he?" Liam demands.  
  
"At the hospital." Zayn chockes out.  
  
  
Liam lets go of the older boy and takes a step back. Nialls hands are there to stop him from falling over. It only takes one look over Liam's shoulder to be met by worried blue eyes. He pulls from Niall's grip, grabs his keys from where they were resting on the soundboard and runs out of the recording studio.

It not until he's in his car that he realises that he hadn't asked Zayn what hospital it was. Liam turns on the ignition anyway, he needed to drive, needed somehow to get closer to Louis. Zayn piles in to the passanger seat and Niall in to the back before he has to pull out of the parking lot.  
  
  
"Princess Alexandra." Zayn tells him pointing to the left as they pull out of the car park.  
  
  
Liam stays silent as they drive, his foot is pressed down on the gas pedal as far as it will go and Zayn's voice loud against his ear. There are to many thoughts in his head. To many questions. He can't voice them, to afraid of what reply might come.  
  
Zayn directs him to the car park of the hospital but Liam doesn't care enough to find a space. He abandones the car as close to the hospital doors as he can and rushes to get inside.  
  
  
"Louis Tomlinson?!" He demands to the nurse behind reception.  
  
"You are?" She asks.  
  
"His boyfriend." He cries. He needs to see Louis, he needs to touch his skin and see his face to make sure he's still alive.  
  
  
Zayn's hand is on his shoulder and the nurse gives them a curious look. Liam is glaring by this point, he just wants to see his boyfriend, why isn't she answering him faster.  
  
  
"I'm afraid only family members are aloud in at this point, sir." She says with not a hint of remourse in her voice.  
  
"Bullshit!" Niall snaps. "Just tell him what the fucking room is!"  
  
"I'm sorry--"  
  
"Tell me or i'll rip every room apart until I find him." Liam growls.  
  
  
The nurse eyes narrow, all three boys are furious by this point. Zayn's fingers are digging hard in to the skin of Liam's shoulder and Niall looks about ready to punch something. Liam grips the reception desk tight enough to make his knuckles turn white, his eyes begin to fill with tears as the anger is replaced with greif.  
  
  
"Please.." He begs. "He's my life, please. Just tell me where he is?"  
  
  
Her face shows no emotion as she looks down to the comptuer and then back up to the broken boy in front of her. "Take the lift up to fifth floor, he's in the room straight ahead."  
  
"Thank you." Liam manages to croak out before he's pulling from Zayn's grip and spirinting towards the lift. The two other boys are hot on his tail and all three enter the lift as it comes. Niall squeezes Liam's shoulder as they wait for it to reach the fifth floor but he instantly takes it back as the lift doors open.  
  
Liam doesn't run towards the room, he walks, to scared of what he might find on the other side. Zayn is at his side, his shoulders set in a way Liam has never seen them before. Liam's breath is shaky as he reaches for the door handle, turning it and slowly pushing it open.  
  
A small blonde instanly greets him, her blue eyes full of tears. Her arms wrap around his middle as she breathes his name in a pained sort of way. Liams arms instinctivley fall around her, his eyes set over her shoulder at the boy laying completly lifeless on the bed, with to many tubes plugged in to his perfect skin.  
  
  
"No.." Liam cracks as he see's the cuts and bruises covering Louis' beautiful face.  
  
  
Perrie lets go of him in order for him to walk over to the bed. Zayn's arm come around her protectivley as Liam drops in to the chair beside the hospital bed.  
  
  
"What the hell have you done, Lou?" Liam asks his fingers tentivley reaching for Louis' hand but recoiling at the last minute. To scared that anything he may touch could set off one of the many machines.  
  
"They told me he can hear you if you talk but he may not respond for a few days." Perrie tells him, voice shaking.  
  
"W-what happened?" Liam asks not taking his eyes from his boyfriend.  
  
"He was..." She gulps. "He was driving home from work, he wanted to get home early to suprise you or something. He was texting me when he left the school, wanted to know if I could keep the bakery open for him."  
  
"Of course he did." Zayn scoffs.  
  
  
Three pairs of eyes fall on him.  
  
  
"What's Liam's favourite thing to eat when he's stressed, Ni?"  
  
There's a slight smile on Niall's face when he replies. "Chocolate eclairs."  
  
  
Liam grabs Louis' hand this time, not caring for the machines. He runs his thumb across the top of his lovers hand, trying not to wince as it comes in to contact with one of the tubes.  
  
  
"Some guy missed the light at a junction, drove in to the back of Lou, sending his car in to the middle, which caused two more cars to hit him. It took them two hours to cut him out because the engine had fell and trapped his legs." Perrie explained but Liam was only listening with half an ear. "I guess they called me because I was the last person he had text."  
  
  
"Was anybody else hurt?" Liam asks because a guilty part of him really whished that the guy who hit Louis first was seriously injurged.  
  
"A few broken bones, nothing serious." Perrie shakes her head sadly as if she was reding Liam's thoughts.  
  
"He'll be okay." Niall says coming over to give Liam's shoulder a reasuring squeeze. "He's Louis, of course he'll be okay."  
  
  
Perrie muffles her sobs by turning her face in to Zayn's chest. Liam glances at them for a moment and Zayn offers him a sad smile before turning his attention back to his girlfriend. Liam turns back to Louis in the bed and brings the hand he's holding up to his lips.  
  
  
"You'll be okay." He says. "You have to be."  


Niall gives his shoulder another squeeze and Liam finally lets his own tears fall.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
"You should go home and get some sleep." Zayn tells him.  
  
Liam rubs at his eyes as he sits up from where he was slouched in the chair beside Louis' bed. It's dark outside, though he's not sure what time it is or even what day it is.

It had been a few days since Louis' accident and he was still showing no signs of waking up, the doctors told Liam that it's not Louis' body that stopping him from waking him up, it's something in his brain. They had tried everything, even Niall's idea of bringing some of Louis' favorite food to see if the smell would wake him up. Nothing worked and the doctors had told him the only thing to do now is wait, let Louis come around in his own time.  
  
"I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up." Liam replies. Really meaning _'I want to be the first one he see's when he wakes up'.  
  
_ "If he wakes up and see's you looking like this, he'll kill me." Zay says. "Go home and clean yourself up, mate. Take a long shower, change your clothes. I dunno, grab some things from home that you think he might want to be near when he wakes up."  
  
Liam glances at Louis' sleeping frame and then to Zayn. "You'll ring me if there's any change."  
  
"Anything at all, I promise."  
  
"Okay." He says quitely leaning forward to brush Louis' fringe from his forehead. He rubs his lips gently across Louis' scarred skin and whispers three sacred words.  
  
Zayn gives him a small hug as they pass each other, squeezing Liam reasuringly before taking the seat beside Louis' bed. Liam tries not to look back as he leaves the room, not wanting the image of Louis in a hospital bed in his head the entire way back to the apartment.  
  
As he gets outside of the hospital room, he spots Niall and Perrie a little way down the hall. He thinks it would be a better idea to have Niall drive him, they didn't need another accident on their hands.  
  
Niall is talking in a hushed tone as Liam walks up, which is really not a Niall thing to do. He was one to talk loud with large hand gestures included, he didn't do quiet conversations that others couldn't hear.  
  
"Ni?" Liam questions softly.  
  
Niall looks like a deer in head lights as he turns to face Liam. "Hey man...uh...Alright?"   
  
Liam ignores his stumbling and the fact Perrie's eyes are downcast. "Could you give me a ride home?"  
  
"Sure, sure." Niall's glancing at Perrie and if Liam wasn't so tired he would probably ask what the hell was going on. Except he wants to get home, get showered and changed before Louis has a chance to notice he was gone.

"Ring me if anything changes." He tells Perrie."Anything."  
  
"I will." She nods and gives him a tight hug before stepping back and dropping her gaze once again.  
  
Niall walks beside him quietly as they make their way out of the hospital. Liam hates that at the one moment he want's Niall's loud voice to fill the silence, it doesn't. The best thing about Niall is he could talk about nothing for hours, even with minimal responses. Then he chooses the day Liam needs him to talk, to get lost in his own head.  
  
Liam's got to many thoughts in his head to sleep, even as he rests his head against the cold window. His body is aching from how tired he feels but his brain won't switch off long enough to get any rest.

There's to much Louis on his mind, his smile, his laugh, his kiss. He really needs him to wake up, to tell them how stupid they are for crying over him the past few days. To make a dumb joke about car crashes to clear the awkwardness in the air. Liam needs Louis like he needs air, he needs the older boy to cuddle him and kiss him until his brain can't process a knowlegable thought.  
  
Niall parks the car at the aparment block, tells Liam he's got things to do and doesn't come inside. Liam wants to question him, ask why his best friend seems to be hiding something. Only every time a thought like that enters his mind,  it's instantly replaced by the thought of wasiting time and not getting back to Louis fast enough.  
  
The apartment is to quiet when he walks inside, it's to overpowered by Louis. Everywhere he looks there a memory of the two of them, he thinks it should be comoforting. Louis isn't dead, only sleeping. But it had been days since he had heard Louis' voice and it was driving him a little crazy, the apartment only felt like haunted memories.  
  
Liam strips himself of his clothes as he makes his way to the bathroom. The water from the shower feels good against his aching skin but he's to distracted to really wash. Just lets the water sooth his bones and runs a bar of soap over different parts of skin before washing it off and stepping out.

The mirror is fogged up from his shower and on it in huge (louis finger sized)  writing is 'I love you :)' and that's all it takes for Liam to break. He grips the marble worktop and reaches to trace his finger over the words, the sobs ehcoing his chest hard enough to hurt.  
  
Liam leans his head against the mirror and tries to calm his breathing. He wipes the message away with a wet palm and stares for a moment at his reflection. Zayn was right, if Louis had woken up to see him this way, he wouldn't be happy. The bags under his eyes made him look ten years old than he was, the scruff on his face made him look like tramp and his lips were chapped from being conitnously chewed upon.

He fills the sink with warm water and reaches in to the cabinet to grab the shaving cream. The memories of Louis shaving (him) flash through his mind, small legs wrapped around Liam's waist as his delicate fingers cup his chin. Liam smiles a little as he drags the shaver down his cheek, remebering how freaked Louis got any time he accidenly cut his neck.  
  
Liam rubs his face with a towel once he's done shaving, another towel around his waist as he makes his way in to the bedroom. He looks through their shared wadrobe for something to wear. Thinks he should take some clothes for when Louis wakes up. After changing in to a check shirt and some clean jeans. He pulls out some Louis approved clothes and sets them on the bed, he lays next to them for a moment, thinking what else Louis might want when he wakes up.  
  
+++  
  
Liam doesn't know when he feell asleep but it's the house phone that's waking him. He pulls himself from where he was using the shirt he had got for Louis as a pillow and trips over his own feet as he make his way to the living room.  
  
"Is he awake?" He asks instead of a greeting.  
  
"Yes, get your ass down to the car." Niall replies.  
  
Liam throws the phone down and doesn't bother with locking the door as he makes his way out of the apartment to Niall waiting in the car. There are so many quesionts he wan'ts to ask. But instead he simply yells at Niall to drive faster, his own foot pressed down hard against the floor of the passanger side.  
  
Niall pulls up outside the hospital and Liam is out of the car before it stops. Niall is shouting something after him but he doesn't bother turn around, his legs can't carry him fast enough through the hospital. The lift takes to long to reach the fifth floor, he's pretty sure he freaked out a mother and little girl who had got on at the first floor. He doesn't care, Louis' awake, his Louis is awake.  
  
Zayn stops him outside the room. An arm baracading from what he wants to get to, he stares at the older boy in confusion as he tries to push past him inside the room.  
  
"Li.."  
  
"What are you doing, Zayn? Let me in, I want to see him." Liam pushes him out of the way and Zayn makes a grab for him but it's to late, he's already in the room.  
  
Louis is in fact awake as Liam walks in the room. The doctor is beside his bed, talking about something that Liam zones out. Liam's smiling as he steps towards the bed and Louis finally looks in his direction. He's never been so happy to see those blue eyes, bright and sparkling, just like they should be.  
  
"Hey babe, how you feeling?"  
  
"W-who are you?" Louis asks.  
  
Liam's heart drops to the bottom of his chest and he shakes his head. "That's not a funny joke, Lou."  
  
"I'm not joking." Louis frowns. "Who are you?"  
  
"Liam.." Zayn says tentavley behind him.  
  
"Seriously, this isn't funny." Liam glances over his shoulder then back at Louis. "It's me, Liam. Your boyfriend, remember?"  
  
Louis laughs, loudly. "My boyfriend is about three inches taller with lots more hair."  
  
"Fuck." Zayn exclaimed.  
  
"Z.." Louis says. "Who is this and where's Harry?"  
  
"Harry?" Liam turns full circle to put his gaze on Zayn.  
  
Zayn has a guitly look in his eyes. Liam's chest feels like a weight of a brick has just been pressed against it and he turns his gaze back on Louis. The doctor is giving him a sympathetic look. Louis' looking at him like he's a stranger and that only makes the weight get heavier, he needs to escape, he needs air.  
  
Zayn makes a grab for his arm as he walks towards the door. Liam pulls it roughly from his grip and continutes walking, he walks until he doesn't know where he is anymore. There's a wall and he punches his fist as hard as he can in to it.  There's a few gaps around him but he ignores them and presses his face against the wall.  
  
\---  
  
Niall comes to find him a few hours later, he'd managed to find a part of the hospital that was slightly secluded. No one could hear him cry, scream, mentally break down.  
  
The irishman sits down beside him, silent at first.  
  
  
"So, he doesn't remember you."  
  
Liam rests his head back against the cold brick wall. "Nope."  
  
"He thinks it's two years before you met."  
  
  
Liam glances over at him confused.  
  
  
"The doctor managed to pull a few more details out of him after you ran off."  
  
"He think he's dating someone else." Liam says clenching and unclenching his fists. "He doesn't remember me, he doesn't remeber he's in love with me. What do I...How do I...I don't know how to handle that."  
  
"Look, the doctor says it's temperary. He might have trouble remembering for a bit but there's all kind of treatments that can help him out."  
  
"He doesn't remember me." Liam says slightly louder.  
  
"I know hurts, Li." Niall sighs. "But he needs you right now."  
  
  
Liam lets his head fall on to his friends shoulders as silent tears escape his eyes. Niall's arm comes around his shoulder to bring him in to a comforting hug. He knew he needed to talk to the doctors, he needed to speak to Louis. There were a lot of things that needed to be done but for now he wanted to feel sorry for himself, in safety of his best friends arms.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
"Hi." Louis says timidly as Liam enters the room.  
  
  
Liam offers a small smile, closing the door quietly behind him and leaning against it.  
  
  
"So...Boyfriend, huh?" Louis raises his eyebrows. There's an expression on his face that Liam didn't recognise, it was almost lost, like Louis didn't know what emotion to go with.  
  
  
Liam's throat is dry as he replies. "Yeah."  
  
  
"C-can I ask you a few questions?"  
  
"Sure." Liam replies walking quickly across the room to sit at the chair beside Louis' bed.  
  
"Uhm." Louis licks his lips and gulps a little. "This is a little weird...I don't...I have a lot to ask."  
  
"That's okay." He leans forward on instinct to reach for Louis' hand but instantly recoils when Louis flinches away from him.  
  
  
Liam tries not to look to hurt and Louis frowns. "Sorry."  
  
  
"It's okay...Let's, start with some basic questions." Liam says linking his own hands to push down the itch to grab Louis'.  
  
"I know your name is Liam." Louis says and Liam looks hopful. "Zayn told me." He adds quickly.  
  
"Right." Liam nods. "Well...My name's Liam James Payne, I'm a record producer and..."  
  
  
His voice cracks and he shakes his head, trying to push down the growing lump in his throat. It's to hard, trying to explain who you are to the only person who knows you inside out.  
  
  
"You're middle name's James?" Louis asks. "I want to name my first born son James."  
  
"I know." Liam looks up with a slight smile.  
  
"Right, right." Louis nods. "So, Liam James Payne the big record producer. Do we have any pets?"  
  
"No." Liam shakes his head. "We had a fish once, it didn't end well."  
  
"What happened?" Louis grins.  
  
"We...uh..." Liam blushes and rubs at the back of his neck. "We kind of got caught up once...and..maybe knocked the tank off the table."  
  
"No way, we killed our fish while having sex."  
  
  
Louis' laugh is loud, his eyes crinkly just they had the morning of the day of accident. Liam smiles just as he did and tries to see an up side to their situation. Maybe while Louis has no recolection of him, he'll be able to actually look back over their time together, rememnice on all their amazing memories.  
  
  
"So, we have a lot of sex?"  
  
  
Liam's a little a caught off by the question and has to cough to cover his second blush.  
  
  
"Uh...we used to...not so much now. You're busy with work a lot, i'm in the studio...we do...if we have time."  
  
  
He feels like a fumbling idiot but Louis is smiling at him and that's all he's wanted for the past week. Maybe it's not his Louis but this Louis will be his Louis again soon enough.  
  
  
"I still can't believe i'm a teacher." Louis shakes his head. "I mean I was doing an acting course at universty."  
  
"You were getting your drama degree when we met." Liam nods. "It wasn't until I was leaving universty you decided you wanted to teach kids. You had a few months without work, watched 'freedom writers' and that was it."  
  
"I choose my career path through a film?"  
  
"Kind of. You said it was your inspiration. If it had taken one woman to change lives of kids who would have probably died if not for her, then think what you could do."  
  
"I really said that?"  
  
"You were set on changing the world." Liam smiles. "One small life at a time."  
  
"How old are the kids I teach?"  
  
"Six." Liam points across the room to the row of paper 'get well soon' cards that covered the table. "They're really missing you, apparently the substitute teacher won't let them draw mustaches on his face."  
  
"I must be good at my job...I mean if they like me." He looks from the table to Liam.  
  
"You're really good at your job and you love it. I swear if you could sleep at the school, you would. You spend nights there making sure that every day you have with those kids is planned down to a T."  
  
"I've never planned anything in my life." Louis gapes.  
  
Liam grins. "I might have taught you a thing or to."  
  
  
They're both silent for a moment. Liam watching Louis closley as the older boy seems to soak in the new information, he's staring at the cards across the room. Liam's eyes scan his face, the scratches from the shard glass are slowly fading, the only few left on his nose and cheekbone.  
  
  
"I'm tired." Louis says.  
  
  
Liam takes the hint and stands slowly from the chair, he shoves his hands deep in to his pockets so not to touch Louis. Bites down hard on his bottom lip to resist the urge to kiss him goodbye and makes his way towards the door.  
  
  
"Will you come back tomorrow?" Louis asks as Liam reaches for the door handle.  
  
"Of course." Liam replies glancing over in Louis' direction. The older boy offers a small smile as he settles down in to the pillow, the tiredness clear in his eyes. Liam can't help but watch for a few beats before he finally drags himself out of the room.  
  
  
+++  
  
Liam talks to the doctors, gets all the information he can on Louis' condition. Then when he doesn't feel that's enough he goes home and googles every possible thing to do with brain ingury and memory loss. Scares himself by reading a few stories where the patient never recovered, never regained their memory. The thought of Louis never remembering him makes him feel sick, the thought of Louis not looking back on what stupid kids they were. Not remembering their first date, first kiss or first time they said 'I love you'.  
  
He gets enough information to settle himself, knowing a little more about what was going on with Louis' brain seemed to calm him. The next day he goes back to the hospital, armed with photo books and little things that he thinks might help Louis' remember.  
  
Zayn stops him when he reaches the floor Louis is on. This time his grip on Liam's arm is like a vice and he leads Liam down the corridor to where Niall and Perrie are sat in the waiting room.  
  
Niall looks up to frown at his best friend as the two walk in the room.  
  
  
"What?" Liam asks.  
  
"They phoned his mum."  
  
"Apparently it's precaution because none of us are realtives." Zayn says from behind him.  
  
  
Liam shakes his head, this isn't good. Louis hadn't spoken to his mum in over five years, it was before Liam's time. Though Louis had told him about it enough times that Liam new the argument as if had been present at the time. It was simple, she had choose her boyfriend (Louis never told Liam his name) over Louis. The guy treated her like crap and Louis didn't like it. They got in a fight and Louis managed to put the guy in hospital, the girls were terrafied of him after that. Jay said if he wanted to be a part of their family anymore, he had to go to anger managment and apologise to the guy. Louis didn't and here they were five years later.

  
"Where are they now?"  
  
"In the room with him." Niall says standing up.  
  
Zayn's hands are back on his arms and Liam tences, this isn't good. "There's something else."  
  
"What?" Liam snaps.  
  
"Harry's here." Niall tells him, holding Liam's gaze.  
  
"Harry as in the guy Lou thinks he's with?" Liam growls.  
  
"Harry's not a bad guy, babe." Perrie tells him. "He's only here because he thinks it might help Louis to see a familiar face."  
  
"Bullshit." Liam yells and he's pretty sure he already hates this Harry guy.  
  
"How about we calm down before we go and see Louis, yeah?" Niall asks putting a friendly hand to Liam's shoulder.  
  
  
Liam takes a few deep breaths in. He needs to keep a cool head for Louis, needs to remember the reason he's here. The person he is trying to make remember him.  
  
  
"Okay." Liam breaths out heavily. "Just don't let him stand to close to me."  
  
"Sure, man." Niall grins keeping his hand on Liam's shoulder as all four walk out of the room.  
  
  
There's a lot of people in Louis' room when they reach it. Liam knowns most of the faces from photos Louis had showed him. Though they look older, the last photo Louis had was the christmas before the incident, six years ago. Phobe and Daisy are curled up on the bed with Louis, they look around the age tweleve. Jay's in the corner of the room, her arms around a Fizzy who looks about seventeen. There's a guy sat in the chair beside Louis' bed who looks in his early twenties and he has his arm around a Lottie who is sitting on the arm of the chair, who looks about nineteen.  
  
Louis' looks content, chatting away to Phobe. Liam doesn't feel like he's welcome, like this is a part of Louis' life he has never been a part of. This is the part of the puzzle where he didn't fit, where he never really wanted to fit. Liam didn't know this Louis, he didn't want to. He liked his Louis.  
  
  
"Zayn! Hey, man."  
  
  
Zayn offers a small nod to the man sat on the chair beside Louis' bed and seems to pull Perrie more protectivley in to his side. Niall's hand is still resting protectivley on Liam's shoulder as Louis' eyes finally gaze over to him.  
  
  
"Liam!" He beams. "You know the girls, right?"  
  
"Uhh.." Liam gulps. "Not exactly."  
  
"Who is that?" Daisy whispers to Louis.  
  
"That's Liam." Louis looks down at her confused. "You know, Liam. Don't you?"  
  
  
Liam wants to bolt, he wants to run as far away from the situation as he could possibly get. There was a reason he was put in Louis' life after the argument because he wasn't set to deal with it during.  
  
  
"Liam? The boyfriend. It's good to finally meet you, man."  
  
  
Liam steps back in to Niall's grip as the guy from the chair stands up to make his way towards him. Harry, Liam's mind helpuflly provides. 'Three inches taller with a lot more hair'. Of course he had gorgouse green eyes and amazing lips to go with it too, he didn't even compare to this man. Liam was average compared to a lot of people (especially Louis and Zayn) but to Harry, he might as well wear a bin bag over his head.  
  
  
"Harry Styles."  
  
  
Niall gives his shoulder a hard squeeze and Liam grits his teeth as he shakes Harry's hand.  
  
  
"Liam Payne." He offers. "It's nice to meet you all."  
  
"You don't know everyone?" Louis' eyebrows nit together in confusion.  
  
"We hadn't had the chance to meet." Liam lies.  
  
"Four years and I never introduced you to my family. Don't you think that's a little strange?"  
  
  
Liam spares a look in Jay's direction, her eyes are pleading, almost begging _'Please don't take my son away from me, again'_.

  
"We were kind of secluded."  
  
"Weird." Louis comments. "Everyone this is Liam, my...uh..boyfriend."  
  
  
The pain hits Liam's chest as Louis spares a guilty glance in Harry's direction. Liam steps back in to Niall, wanting to feel the pain of the irish lads fingers digging in his shoulder. He listens to the girls introduce themsleves, he nods when approprite, wanting nothing more than being anywhere but there. Then Jay is removing her arms from around Fizzy to wrap Liam in a hug, which is awakard, gladly Nialls hand stays planted firmly on Liam's shoulder.  
  
  
"Why don't we go and get some lunch?" Lottie asks. "Let mum and Louis have some alone time?"  
  
  
Louis gives the twin girls kisses on the cheeks before they climb off the bed. Lottie squeezes Louis ankle and gives Liam a warey look as she passes him on the way to the door. Zayn, Perrie and Fizzy follow. Niall gives Liam's shoulder a tight squeeze before pushing him forward and following after the others. Harry semed to have re-taken the seat beside Louis's bed and that's the only reason Liam isn't following the others.

  
"You can go too if you want." Louis tells him.  
  
"I'm not hungry." His eyes tear away from Harry to look at Louis, he shrugs.  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
  
There's an awkward silence. Jay makes a move to sit on the edge of Louis' bed and Liam leans his back against the wall, wanting to give them a little bit of privacy.  
  
  
"What's the last thing you remember?" Harry asks leaning forward.  
  
"I don't...I think I was on campus." Louis says. "I don't know what I was doing. It hurts to much to think, with all this, you know. Thinking back is going to help me with remembering forward."  
  
  
Liam thinks that's logical but at the same time absurd. If he goes by all that he read up online, trying to remember your last memory is good, it gives you a base to start from.  
  
  
"Oh, Lou." Harry frowns. "Well we're here to help."  
  
  
That's when Liam can't take it anymore, as Harry leans forward and grabs Louis' hand. Louis doesn't flinch, not like he had with Liam. No, he actually turns his palm up and entangles there hands together. Liam pushese himself up from the wall and walks out of the room without a word to the remaning occupents.  
  
+++ **  
  
**Liam goes to the cafeteria on the next floor down, not wanting to bump in to anyone. He grabs a coffe and sits down at one of the tables, pulling the rucksack from his back. He opens the front zip, pulls out a beanie (one of Louis' favorites) and slips it over his head. It smells like Louis and it overwhelms him a little. The tears are in the corner of his eyes and a lump growing in the back of his throat.  
  
A few hours pass, he doesn't move from the table he found at the back of the cafe. He re-filled his coffee a few times and tried to break off peices of a muffin to eat. Liam expects Niall to be the one to find him but the small hand on his shoulder doesn't belong to his irish friend.  
  
  
"Hey." Louis says as he rounds the table to sit opposite Liam.  
  
"You're okay to be walking around?" Liam asks instantly worried.  
  
"No one stopped me." Louis shrugged.  
  
  
Liam does a quick check over to make sure Louis isn't bleeding from any places. When he's satasifed Louis looks well enough to be sat in the chair opposite him, he turns his gaze back to the muffin on the table.  
  
  
"Are we okay?"  
  
"Mhm.." Liam nods.  
  
"I thought you'd left without saying goodbye." Louis says.  
  
"I wouldn't do that." Liam looks up. "I wouldn't."  
  
"Good...Because you're the only one I trust."  
  
  
Liam looks up a little wide eyed.  
  
  
"I mean, my family are great. The girls...I mean they're still my girls but they're different. Lottie keeps looking at me..like she's can't see me. Like she's seeing someone else. My mum won't stop fussing me, maybe it's because of the accident but it feels like something else. Zayn...Well he keeps going to tell me something but then stopping himself at the last minute. Your friend Niall....He seems nice enough but I think he's angry at me. You know...for forgetting you."

 

"He's a little protective." Liam nods.  
  
  
"Right...It's just like they're all what I remember. They look older than I remember, like they've all aged five years overnight. But they've also grown five years and it's hard to get my head around."

  
Liam gets it, the last thing Louis seems to remember is being in universty with four younger sisters who worshiped the ground he walked on. Now all those four girls remember is their brother who almost killed a man with his bare hands, right in front of them. For a moment, he wishes Louis didn't regain his memory. Just so he didn't have to go through the pain of remembering that, to loose his family all over again.

 

"What about Harry?" Liam asks.  
  
"Harry?" Louis questions dumbly.  
  
"Do you trust him? Is he different?"  
  
"I mean he's Harry." Louis states.  
  
  
Liam stays quiet for a moment before he says. "I don't know what that means."  
  
  
"Harry's my best friend, has been since I was ten years old. He was my first everything, the reason I knew I was gay and the reason I accepted it. I just...It's hard for me to get my head around why he doesn't know you."  
  
  
"It's normal for the boyfriend not to know the ex." Liam shrugs.  
  
"I know.....But me and Harry....We aren't like that." Louis sighs. "Did I ever talk about him? I mean...Did I ever mention why we didn't talk."

 

There's a glint in his eyes, one Liam knows well. It's the look he gets when he's determined about something, he wants to know why he and Harry stopped talking. Sadly Liam wasn't the person who held the answers or the person who wanted to help him get them.  
  
  
"Not to me, no."  
  
"Right...Not the type of couple to talk about ex's. Got it." Louis nods.  
  
  
Liam doesn't respond because Louis has his sassy voice on and there's no use talking to him when he's like that. You'll get the kind of conversation you'd get if you'd just told off a small child.  
  
  
"I guess I should go back to the room before people come looking for me."  
  
  
Louis sighs dramatically as he stands up from the table. Liam rolls his eyes. "There was a reason you were a drama student."  
  
"Because of my amazing talent, obviously."  
  
"Obviously." Liam mocks  as he stands from the table himself. "I'll walk you back."  
  
Louis nods, waits as Liam throws his rubbish in the bin and they walk slowly beside each other as they head back to the room. Louis is still in the hospital gown and Liam can now see his bare legs. The left is covered in bruises and some small scratches, the right covered in a bandadge and he's dragging it slightly as he walks.  
  
"Lou.." Liam breaths.  
  
"Hmm." Louis glances at him then follows Liam's gaze to his legs. "It's nothing, not as bad as it looks."  
  
"Are..Are you in pain?" Liam stammers, the thought of Louis being in any kind of pain killing every fibre of his beeing.  
  
"Some, not much." Louis shrugs.  
  
"Here." Liam offers his arm, there's a moment he thinks Louis is going to refuse. But then Louis' small hand is slowly circling Liam's arm and there's a prencens of Louis that he's used to.

It takes them a while to get back to the room and Louis seems in a little more in pain when they do. Zayn is glaring at Liam as he helps Louis on to the bed. Liam presses the button for the nurse, purposley ignoring his friends angered gaze. He asks the nurse for some more medication for Louis' leg while ignoring Louis' protests that he's fine.

Jay returns as the nurse is pressing a IV drip in to Louis' hand and starts fussing immediatly.  Lottie is with her and she's giving Liam one of those warey looks as she hovers in the doorway. Liam wants to talk to her, to ask why she's so cautious when it comes to him. After all he's not the person that hadn't spoken to Louis in over five years or the one who ignored him for sticking up for a member of his family. Shouldn't Liam be the one with the right to be the one upset with her. There had been nights such as Louis birthday's and other special dates, where he'd had to calm down the older boy because he was so upset about not being able to see his family. Surely Liam had the right to be angry with them, not the other way around.

Louis falls asleep as soon as the IV drip begins to work and suddenly Liam wants to be anywhere but in that room. He thinks about going home, attemtping to get some sleep. There's only so long the body can survive on a caffine high before completly giving out. Only when he goes to find Niall to ask for a lift home, there's a small hand on his upper bicep, stopping him from walking furthur.

Lottie's eyes remind him a lot of Louis'. They're open and inviting in colour but when you look closer, there's something deeper hidden beneath them. Liam had spent months finding the thing that was hidden deep within Louis' blue eyes. When he did, when the older boy told him with tears streaming down his face, of the family he once knew.  The darkness in Louis' eyes left and what remained was more beautiful than Liam could ever put in to words. Liam thinks if he could only look at one thing for the rest of his life, it would be the brightness in those soft blue eyes.

"Can we talk?" Lottie asks, pulling Liam from his thoughts.

Before he knows it he's nodding and the two of them are heading down the corridor towards the cafe. Liam heads straight to the machine, punching a number for a dark coffee and politely asking Lottie if she would like anything. The young girl shakes her head and Liam focuses on his own drink, hoping it's strong enough to keep his eyes open just that little bit longer.

The two sit down at a table in the caffee. Liam sips at his coffee and waits for the younger girl to begin talking.

"I think you should break up with Louis." Lottie says monotone.  
  
It takes a Liam a moment to process the words. "Excuse me?"  
  
"He doesn't remember you." She reminds him. "The doctors think he never will--"  
  
"They haven't said that." Liam snaps.  
  
"They said they're not sure which pretty much means never." She states.  
  
Liam pushes the thoughts out, tries not to think about it. Repeats _'He will remember. He will remember'_ to himself.  
  
"Do you really want to be the person responsible for Louis loosing his family?" She questions.  
  
"It's not my fault he doesn't speak to you." He exclaims. "I'm not the bad person here."  
  
"You will be the bad person." She growls. "If you get him to remember the pain of loosing us."  
  
Liam thinks about, thinks of all the times he'd held Louis as he cried over a family Liam had never met. The days it would take Louis to come back to himself after an episode. How he wouldn't let Liam be anywhere near him during those days.  
  
"I'm not a bad person." Liam cries, burying his face in his hands.  
  
A sigh comes from across the table and soon a small hand, familiar to the one that had touched him earlier, is squeezing gently at his shoulder. "Not one for tough love, huh?"  
  
Liam tries to hold them back but the tears fall anyway, he feels them escape the corner of his eyes and travel down his nose on to his hands. Lottie's fingers dig in to his shoulder, almost painfully, as if she knows that's what he needs.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispers.  
  
Liam sniffles and removes his hands from his face, not bothering to wipe away the tears, to exausted by this point to really care about his masculinaty. Lottie's blue eyes are filled with her own tears, her face mirroring Liam's brokeness.  
  
"I just....don't want...to loose him again." She hiccups.  
  
The hand on his shoulder is still digging in deep and Liam reaches up to curl his own fingers around it. Lottie's hand doesn't loosen as Liam's fingers tighten around, tight enough to translate something, tight enough to leave a mark. Which is what he's doing in reality, leaving his mark on a part of Louis' life he never thought he'd know.  
  
"But it's not your fault." Lottie sniffles. "We lost Louis because we were to proud to admit we were wrong. You didn't loose him out of choise, you shouldn't have to loose him at all."  
  
Liam tugs the hand from his shoulder gently, his eyes falling down to the nimble fingers that now wrap around his own. There's cuts covering her knuckles and Liam looks up, a silent question.  
  
"When the hospital called mum." She starts in a shaky breath. "I thought they were going to say he was dead. I thought--"  
  
That's when Liam closes his eyes, presses his lips to the beaten skin, the thought of ever loosing Louis to much for him to handle. Truth be told, he'd take Louis not remembering him over him not being alive any day. Suddenly in that moment all words in the world don't seem enough,  two broken people, bonding over something they never thought they would.  
  
+++  
  
Louis' been in awake for almost a week when Liam comes to hospital room to find it empty. For a moment he's frantic, asking every nurse that passes if they'd seen the man that occupied the room. It's not until Niall stumbles in behind him, half asleep, that he finds out Louis had been sent down for minor surgery on his hamstring.  
  
Liam settles himself down on to Louis' bed, soaking up the smell that's still covered the pillow. Niall mumbles something about getting food as Liam falls asleep.  
  
When he wakes up again hours later, there's a familar sense of Louis surrounding him. It takes him a few moments to shake the sleep away, to realise, that yes, there is in fact a Louis shaped form tucked in to his arms.  
  
Liam tightens his grip, watches Louis' eyelashes fan down against his tanned cheeks. It's a dream, he thinks. Though he doesn't pinch himself to wake up, to lost in the feeling, of having that missing part of him back again.  
  
When Louis' eyes bat open they're still as bright as Liam remembers.  
  
"Sorry." He sighs softly, contently. "You looked peaceful and I was curious."  
  
"Of what?" Liam ask quietly, to scared speaking loudly would ruin the moment.  
  
"What it would feel like." He says, wriggling then.  
  
Liam panics, thinking the older lad is trying to pull away. His heart settles back in his chest when Louis turns his back to Liam, entwining their fingers.  
  
"You snore." Louis states.  
  
"You've said." Liam breaths. "Many times."  
  
Louis yawns then, his fingers tightening a little around Liam's hand. Then his eyes flutter shut once again and Liam closes his own eyes, but doesn't sleep, can't sleep. Not when Louis' giving him this, this contact, after days of not being able to touch at all.  
  
+++  
  
A few days later, the doctor says it's okay for Louis to go home, if he feels safe enough to do so. Liam thinks he knows Louis' answer immediatly, that Louis would do anything to get away from a place where people constantly treat him like he's porceline. Louis hesitates though, looks to Harry and doesn't answer until Harry nods. Liam feels something inside of him clench and he knows the only reasons he's standing is because Lottie links her hand through his.  
  
"Do you want to go home with us?" Jay asks. "Or back to the hotel, or home with Zayn or back to your flat with Liam?"  
  
Louis' eyes find him then, across the room full of bodies.  
  
It feels just as powerful as the first time those eyes had peered at him, from under a _'acting for idiot's'_ book. Liam remembers how his knees had buckled back then, how he forgot to ask if the chair across from Louis was taken. That day he bolted, walked straight back out of the library with what he had gone there for clear from his mind. Louis had been the one to seak him out then, creeping up on him in the courtyard while he was jogging. Liam wants that, wants to turn his back and walk out of the hospital room, away from these people he barley knows. Wants that Louis to follow him, to tell him stupid jokes and compliment Liam's muscles until he's blushing cherry red. Liam can't do it, can't have those eyes look at him the same as they did back then.  
  
Back then he didn't know Louis, back then that look alone had Liam's heart beating out of his chest. Back then Liam didn't know that when Louis' giggles, he covers his mouth, to cover his teeth. Back then he didn't know that Louis hates others making his tea. Back then he didn't know the way Louis looked beneath him, all blissed out but still begging for more. Back then they didn't have inside jokes. Back then they didn't have 'I love you's'. Back then Louis wasn't his yet.  
  
Maybe that's the worst thing about it, not that Louis can't remember but that Liam can. All the memories that once belonged to two, suddenly belonged to one.  
  
Liam's gasping for air, the tight grip from Lottie not enough anymore. The air in the room is to tight, being breathed in by to many people.  
  
"Liam?" Niall calls as he bolts out of the room.  
  
It's a struggle, trying to run through a hospital with no air getting to his chest. When he finally reaches the outside, he collapses to the ground. Breathes in the fresh air like it's the only thing still holding him together.  
  
Niall's arms coming around him, as if out of nowhere. Holding tightly as if he let go his friend would break in to a million peices. "You can't break, not yet."  
  
"I can't." Liam chokes, suddenly clinging to Niall's shirt.  
  
The hush that comes is with it's own broken breath, as the irishman rocks them both gently.  
  
They stay like that for a while, until Liam's breathing normal again. Zayn comes out to find them just as Niall's getting them both up of the wet ground and his eyes are sad, like he knows. Liam knows he doesn't, no one knows, apart from all those people he read about online. But he's greatful, for Zayn, for Niall, even for Lottie. They're his lifeboat and Louis' the sea, threatening to seperate him from them.  
  
+++  
  
Louis decides he wants to go back to their flat. A decition he makes while Liam's on the gravel outside of the hospital, attemtping not to loose himself in something that's out of his control. Zayn tells him that Louis' decition was made the moment Liam had left the room and Liam counts that a small win.  
  
"Will you stay tonight?" He asks Jay, just as Liam re-enters the room.  
  
Jay moves Louis' fringe away from his forhead, soft, like a mother should be. "If you need me too, baby."  
  
Louis' smiles at her but it's not his normal bright smile, it's small, like a childs. Liam sinks down on the bench that surrounds the bay window, his eyes fixing on a man smoking outside. The room still feels stuffy, to many occupying it for him to feel in place.  
  
"Liam?"  
  
Liam drags his eyes away from the window and across the room towards Louis. There's a question in the older boy's eyes, one that tells Liam he's acting like an idiot. _'Is it okay that I stay with you?'.  
  
_ "You'll always have a home with me, Lou." Liam tells him, voice hoarse.  
  
+++  
  
Liam drives Louis to their flat and it's the first time they've been alone together since the day in the cafeteria. (even when they slept on the hospital bed together, he could feel a presence, someone there who shouldn't be).  
  
Louis' quiet, eyes glued out to the city passing by.  
  
Something catches the corner of his eyes, each time he looks over to check on Louis. The older boy's entire body is tense, one hand holding tightly to the seatbelt and the other to the door. It's reflex, from the accident, Liam thinks. And then _'he remembers'_.  
  
"Lou." Liam breathes softly.  
  
Louis' eyes look over at him, soft, but still closed off. It breaks Liam, they're not his Louis' eyes, that's not the way his Louis would look at him.  
  
"Anything familiar?" He chocks out.  
  
Louis shakes his head, eyes falling back out the window. "I never thought i'd really live here. London."  
  
Memories, hit Liam like a brick. It's almost as if because Louis can't remember, he has to remember them twice as hard.  
  
Liam remembers Louis saying those exact words, three years ago. As the two of them trapesed through London, arm in arm. Sleeping in a bedsit that barley had enough room to breathe. Happy because they had a home, it belonged to them, the two of them. It was the first thing that was theirs. Liam also remembers how upset Louis had been when they had to leave the little bedsit, to move in to the flat they have now. The first few days in the new flat he had crawled out of their queen sized bed and slept on the couch, claiming that he had to much room to breathe. That was one of the times Liam had stood there and thought 'I love this person.'  This crazy person who'd prefered a betsit to a two bedroom flat.  
 _  
_"It's a lovely city." Liam says dumbly.  
  
Louis nods, not casting his eyes away but he does hum Tina Turners 'Proud Mary' under his breath and that gets Liam smiling.  
  
When Liam pulls up outside their building, everyone who was at the hospital is crowded outside. Louis' still for a moment and then reaches his hand down to cover Liam's that's still on the handbreak. Liam can feel the pulse in his hand from where he'd been holding the seatbelt so tight. Then he feels guilty because this entire time he'd been thinking of himself, how he felt. Not once, since they spoke, had Liam thought to check up on Louis.  
  
"Do you want me to ask them to leave?"  
  
Louis nods and says softly. "Just mum."  
  
Liam turns his hand up to engulf the other lads and gives it a gentle squeeze. Then he tugs it away gently, letting himself out of the car. Zayn's the first to approach him, his eyes cast over Liam's shoulder at the boy still in the passanger seat.  
  
"He just wants Jay." Liam explains. "I'll make sure he calls you later but for now, he needs to rest without being coddled."  
  
"If you think Jay's not going to coddle him, he clearly didn't explain her very well." Zayn says, with spite in his tone.  
  
"Sometimes a guy needs his mum." Liam replies simply.  
  
Then he waits, for each of them to leave by turn. Niall goes first, taking one look at Liam's expression and squeezing his shoulder in a _'you know where I am if you need me'_ kind of way. Then Lottie had taken the girls, left Liam with nothing but a soft press of lips to cheek. Perrie finally convinces Zayn to go and Liam had never seen Zayn pissed, not this pissed and certainly not aimed at him.  
  
As Liam goes to collect Louis from the car, he feels someone shadowing him. "Louis just wants Jay, Harry. Just for tonight. You can come back again in the morning."  
  
"I think I know what Louis wants." Harry says, the words should be malicious but they almost sound remorsful.  
  
Liam sighs, because it's been a long day and he already has one person hating him. "Okay."  
  
As he opens the passanger door, there's not complaint from Louis for Harry being there. Liam doesn't know how to react to that.  
  
It takes them a while to get up to the flat because Louis' legs not completly healed and he's to stubborn to let anyone carry him. When they finally get inside, it's the first time Liam has actually felt comfortable in days. It's their home, with their stuff, it's them.  
  
"Where's the bedroom?" Louis asks, crushing Liam's small bite of happyness.  
  
Liam's arms hooked around his left elbow, with Harry's around his right. "This way, to the left."  
  
They lead him (almost carry him) through the apartment to the bedroom. The sheets are still ruffled from the time Liam took a nap just before Louis woke up. The t-shirt he had shaped in to a pillow, laying abandoned among the sheets.  
  
Louis reaches out for it, almost throwing off the counter balance they had. "I'm going to sleep."  
  
The tone he uses is different than one Liam's heard before. It's strict but soft and straight to the point. Like a tone a parent uses with a child when they're angry. Harry's hand drops from Louis' arm immediatly.  
  
"I'll be in the living room if you need me." He says, then leaves the room.  
  
Liam drops his own hand, bewildered. "Do you need any help?"  
  
"With sleeping?" Louis asks, not looking at Liam but at the shirt in his hand.  
  
"With.." Liam starts then shakes his head, feeling like he's talkng to a person he doesn't know. This is Louis, maybe not the Louis he once knew. But it's still Louis, isn't it?  
  
Louis taps his (good) foot impatiently, his grip tightening on the shirt in his hand.  
  
"I guess i'll leave you to it then." Liam says and then leaves because suddenly being in the same room with Louis hurts.  
  
Somehow he finds himself settling on the couch next to Harry. The two of them watch sky sports while drinking beer (Liam had refused at first but Jay had looked at him with sad eyes and said _'you look like you need it'_ and he'd drank three bottles within the hour) and the experience was odd yet familiar. Harry's an okay lad, he decides. Not once does he throw in Liam's face that his boyfriend thinks they're dating. In fact, he makes no remarks about Louis what so ever. Apart from when Liam brings him up ("Louis always wants to watch footy" "Louis loves a good curry" "James Cordon is Louis' guilty crush"), out of force of habit, it's something he's always done, bring Louis up when he wasn't there. Niall said it was a part of their seperation anxiety, to talk about each other until the other returns so it feels like they hadn't been apart. Then he'd make throwing up noises until Liam slapped him across the back of the head.  
  
Zayn wasn't wrong either, when he said Jay would coddle Louis. Since the moment they stepped in to the flat, she'd been in and out of the bedroom. Liam's suprised he hasn't heard Louis yell at her for not letting him sleep. Though she'd also been checking on Liam and Harry, offering to bring them drinks and food. Harry always says yes, asking for what he wants, like he's speaking to his own mother. Liam always declines, feeling guilty for not disliking Jay the way he should.  
  
It's almost midnight and Liam can feel himself dozing off. Harry's already asleep, his head resting on the arm of the couch and his feet tucked under Liam's thigh. Jay's still hovering around and so Liam offers her the spare room. Once she's gone and he's switched off the tv, he settles himself on the recliner.  
  
"He still loves you, you know." Harry says, suddenly sounding very much awake.  
  
Liam doesn't reply, can't reply, it all hurts to much. Instead he ignores the statment and wills himself to sleep, hoping that his body's exausted to do just that.  
  
+++  
  
Liam wakes up only a few hours with a full bladder, finds himself stumbling from the recliner and it to the bathroom. _'A half asleep pee is never a good one'_ Louis had told him once, while watching Liam mop the bathroom floor. A half asleep brain is not a good one either, he finds out.  When he wanders out of the bathroom and heads straight across the hall in to the bedroom.  
  
Louis' curled up on Liam's side of the bed, face down, head turned half in to the pillow. Liam's drawn to him, brain fogged with sleep. When he climbs in to the bed, it's not registering that this isn't his Louis, that this person doesn't know who he is.  
  
Back when they'd first gotten together, Liam was the caustious one. They didn't kiss until their third date and that was only because it was at a beer festival and Louis got him drunk. When they finally slept together (In the apartment Louis shared with three other lads, one being struggling artist Zayn), it was after months of Louis waiting. Louis fell asleep afterwards, his body turned towards Liam and face turned half in to the pillow they shared. Liam lay awake for hours afterwards, unable to keep his eyes off Louis' sleeping frame. After months of dating this vibrant crazy boy, he finally got to see his soft side. A part of him that not many people got to see, the side of him that's vunerable. Liam decided that night that his favourite thing to do, was to watch Louis sleep. It became routine for them, for Louis to fall asleep first, as if he couldn't sleep until he was safely tucked in to Liam's side.  
  
Liam lays on Louis side of the bed, close enough to touch but not reaching out to do so. He can only see half of Louis' face, due to the other half being burried in the pillow. It's enough though, to watch his one eyelid flutter with a dream.  
  
+++  
  
The second time he wakes up, it's to face full of hair. Somehow during the few hours they'd slept beside each other, they had managed to tangled together. Two bodies fitting together like a puzzle peice, not a limb out of place. Liam breathes in deeply, taking in the memory of the Louis he once knew.  
  
"Pretty sure I didn't fall aslep like this." Louis mumbles but it's not angry, the tone is all to familiar, it's fond.  
  
It takes Liam a few moments to get over Louis' morning voice, rough with sleep and slightly drowsy. "Sorry, couldn't help myself."  
  
"Me either by the looks." Louis sighs then, untangling himself from Liam.  
  
Liam watches as the older boy tries to get himself out of the bed. He wants to reach out, to help. He knows better, even before the accident, Louis had never been one to be fawned over.

As Louis heads in to the bathroom, the younger lad heads in to the kitchen to make breakfast. Stopping for a moment by the empty couch, the blanket neately folded on the back cushion. It Jay's voice in the kitchen that has him shrugging it off, as he makes his way inside, it's to find two of the four girls sat at the counter.  
  
"Good morning." He says sheepishly.  
  
It's Daisy who locks eyes with him first, this large smile soon sporting her face. "We're making Louis' favourite breakfast."  
  
"Scrambled eggs on toast." Liam yawns, dropping himself in to one of the stools.  
  
"No." The young girl frowns. "Pancakes with extra syrup."  
  
 _'Louis hates pancakes'_ Liam wants to say but then his brain seems to be working better with the few hours sleep he had. Of course Louis told Liam he hated pancakes, they reminded him of a life he once knew. A life he now believed he belonged to.  
  
"Would you like scrambled eggs, Liam?" Jay asks softly, back to him.  
  
"No..No, thank you." Liam shakes his head. "I'm not really hungry."  
  
"You have to eat, Love."  
  
Liam drops his eyes to the countertop. "I'll just take a coffe, I need to be at the studio soon."  
  
Fizzy coughs, pulling Liam's attention in her direction, she frowns. "You're leaving Louis alone?"  
  
"I thought...you're not...But I thought." Liam splutters, trying to form a coharent sentence.  
  
Jay turns to face him, slipping pancakes on to a plate. "We'll be here to take care of him. Don't worry about it, darlin'."  
  
Liam nods and lets a silence fall over the room. Fizzy's eyes are still on him but Liam refuses to look at her, instead sets about making his own coffee (waving of Jay's protests that she'll do it). Just as he's pouring it in to a travel mug, Lottie enters the room.  
  
"You're awake then." She says.  
  
The travel mug is clasped tightly in his hands and he takes a long painful swig as he nods. Lottie's eyes aren't as questioning as Fizzy's but there's something unsettling written in them.  
  
"I guess i'll be going then." Liam states for something to say.  
  
Having four pair of eyes judging him is a little unsettling and at the moment, he wants to be anywhere but there.  
  
"You're leaving?" Louis asks, from the doorway to the kitchen. He's dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms that are a size to big (Liam's) and a band shirt that Liam's never seen before.  
  
"I won't be long." Liam explains, heading straight for the other boy. "I'll have my phone and Jay..."  
  
He chances a glance over his shoulder at Louis' mother who is fussing Daisy in to doing something but looks up just in time to give him a reasuring smile. Liam remembers talking to her about going back to work, how she'd promised to take car of Louis while he did. How he'd had to track Niall down to have him give Jay the number to the phone he hadn't touched in days.  
  
"Jay has my number." Liam says, turning his attention back to Louis. "If you need me for anything, anything at all. Just ring me and i'll come straight home."  
  
Louis nods and Liam has to restrain himself from kissing the frown from his lips.  
  
"I--"  
  
There's an expectant look on Louis' face but Liam swallows the three words that salted his tongue. "I won't be long."  
  
"Would you leave already." Fizzy complains. "Couples are so sickening."  
  
Liam doesn't look back at her but instead squeezes at Louis' arm gently, the slight contact he needed to get him through the day. Then he leaves, the further he moves away from Louis, the easier it gets to breathe. It was something that had come familiar to him over the past few weeks, chocking on air like it was toxic. Just like Louis had with the bedsit, all Liam wanted to do was turn on his foot and let the air be taken once again.  
  
+++  
  
Niall's in the studio when Liam gets there, the other looks exausted. Liam tries to offer the best thankful smile he can as he plugs his iphone in to charge (he'd found it in the side door of his car on his way home with Louis yesterday, the battery completly flat).  
  
"We had three cancelations." Niall tells him straight. "Murphy was one of them."  
  
"Fuck." Liam curses, dropping himself in to one of the chairs in front of the sound board.  
  
"I'm sorry, mate." Niall sighs. "I tried to talk to him but he said he didn't want to work on anything without you here."  
  
Liam leans his head back and closes his eyes. John Murphy was an amazing arist, not well known worldwide but he sure as hell was known to the music world. Liam had managed to get him to co-produce a song for one of their more popular artists. John had even agreed to do some backing vocals, as long as his name wasn't featured. It had taken months for Liam to find a gap in both their schedules to fit it in. Now, there probably wouldn't be another chance.  
  
"I should call him." Liam says.  
  
"Yeah." Niall replies.  
  
Neither of them move.  
  
"How did Carla's single go?"  
  
Niall shrugs. "I got a good reception from the radion stations."  
  
"Statistics wise?"  
  
"We'll make a profit." Niall says simply.  
  
Which means it didn't make enough for her to get noticed. They always make a profit, no matter how well their artists do. Liam and Niall get 20% of whatever income the music makes. Sometimes they'll get slightly more in royalties, depending if they wrote or co-wrote the song. It's a difficult buisness, they both know that. It had taken lots of work to get to where they are and Liam doesn't want something to break them, when they've come this far. Louis was okay, his brain wasn't but it would be eventually. He was healthy, or getting there. Liam was okay with being away from him, as long as he had people there to take care of Louis when he couldn't.  
  
"Can you ring the two other cancelations, try and convince them to come in today." Liam says, sitting up. "I've got to ring Carla's managment, find out how much their promoting the album."  
  
Niall nods, reaching for his phone. It's a busy day from then on, one of the cancelations comes in to work on their album. A band named 'String Theory' that Liam had heard playing in a restraunt while on a date night with Louis. Liam had heard them and immediatly had a list of songs he wanted to have them record. Louis hadn't got upset, never did, when Liam had asked if he could interupt their night to talk to the band. They spent the rest of that night talking to the lads, well Liam talked to the bands drummer Adam, who seemed to be their manager at the time. While Louis got drunk with the other three, going shot for shot with them and ending up having to be carried home by Liam. The bands lead singer _Mikey_ had taken a liking to Louis, always asking after him when he comes in for a session.  
  
"How is he?" Mikey asks, the instant he enters the studio.  
  
Liam nods, the air having trouble getting to his lungs once again. "He's healthy."  
  
"It really sucks, man." Adam states, dropping himself on to the couch. "I had a friend who's girlfriend had brain troubles once, he ended up having to switch off her life machine."  
  
James or Nickle (a nickname he had claimed from the boys simply for being an american), the bands bass player, clips Adam across the head. "Don't trip him out."  
  
Liam didn't hide his sexuality from his clients but he didn't exactly promote it either. In fact, only these lads and the first band they had signed, knew about Louis. The other artists hadn't asked or simply didn't care. It was nice, to have people who weren't as close to Louis as Zayn or as protective over Liam as Niall. People who were willing to talk to Liam without emotion involved.  
  
"Where's Daniel?" Liam questions.  
  
Mikey sighs as he falls down on to the couch beside Adam, legs sprawled over the other lads lap. "Arsehole couldn't be bothered to get out of bed."  
  
"Apparently he blamed you for missing our session and thought he shouldn't have to come in on his day off." James shrugs sadly.  
  
"I told him bands don't have days off." Adam says. "But he just flipped me the finger and went back to sleep."  
  
"That's okay." Liam says. "Niall's gone to get donuts and he'll be gutted he missed out."  
  
"Perrie's donuts?" Mikey beams. "Lou says they're amazing."  
  
A sudden emotion crosses his face, like he doesn't know if he should be angry (for bringing it up around Liam) or upset (because he's lost a friend too) at the mention of Louis' name.  
  
"They are." Liam replies, and makes a mental note to stop by the bakery on the way home.   
  
Mikey climbs from the couch to give Liam's shoulder a friendly squeeze, something in his eyes that's close to mischief Liam used to see in Louis'.  
  
+++  
  
By the time he does get to the bakery, it's close to closing. "Hey Pez."  
  
"Hello stranger." She beams across the counter. "The usual?"  
  
Liam nods, his eyes scanning the asortment of cakes. "Can I get five cupcakes as well?"  
  
"How about.." Perrie starts and heads down to the other end of the counter to get a box. "I just give you each of the girls and Jay's favourite. That way, you can properly suck up to them."  
  
Liam nods, releasing a breath as he leans against the counter. Perrie moves swiftly around the shop, collecting five different pasteries to suit five seperate personalities. Then she adds a chocolate eclair for him and a lemon curd tart for Louis.  
  
"£12.60, please babe." She smiles.  
  
Liam searches his back pocket for his wallet and asks. "Does Zayn hate me?"  
  
"Are you kidding me?" Perrie laughs, taking the twenty he hands her. "That boy couldn't hate you if you murdered someone. In fact, he'd probably help you hide the body."  
  
The lump he had in his chest settles a little. "Does he hate Louis?"  
  
"Zayn doesn't hate, Liam." Perrie explains. "He dislikes a lot of things, a lot of people. That boy has to much love in his heart to ever hate."  
  
"Fizzy was right." He says.  
  
Perrie smiles a little. "About what exactly?"  
  
Liam takes the change she hands him. "Couples are sickening."  
  
"That's the point." She beams. "Couples are sickening because their love makes others burn with envy."  
  
"Don't spend to much time listening to Zayn." Liam says, tugging the box of cakes off the counter. "He's making you believe in his psychobabble."  
  
"Go see your lad." Perrie waves him off.  
  
Liam offers her a parting smile as he heads out of the bakery. A plan in his mind to take the cakes home, text Zayn and then sleep until a new morning dawns upon him.  
  
+++  
  
The plan gets side tracked a little bit. Mostly because there's no one in the flat when he gets home. Though the asortment of dishes that surround the living room and kitchen let him know they hadn't been gone all day. Liam puts the box of cakes in the fridge and gets to cleaning up.  
  
Everyone shows up eventually, as he's placing the last dish in to the cupboard. Louis' got an arm hooked around Harry's waist and the other around Lottie's shoulder, looking exausted.  
  
Liam doesn't ask questions, doesn't get a chance to. There's to many people in the apartment, everyone under everyone's feet. One of the girls finds the cakes in the fridge and they thank him loudly, shouting things about tea and soaps.  
  
No one seems to really notice the tiredness in Louis' eyes as they drag him in every direction _('Louis make the tea, you make it best.'_ Fizzy. _'Louis I want to sit in your lap'._ Phoebe. _'Louis, darling change the channel'._ Jay.)  The older boy is still dragging his left leg as he walks but he proceeds to do everything they ask. With a smile that says he's happy do whatever makes them happy.  
  
Liam can't ask him to stop because he know for a fact Louis will either ignore him or argue. Instead he escapes to the bedroom, collects a towel from the dresser and some clean clothes. Then he goes to the bathroom and lets the pressure of the water shower away the stress of the day.  
  
There's a knock on the door as Liam steps out of the shower, ready to shave. He calls over his shoulder to ask who it is and huffs when he gets no reply. Holding tightly to his towel, he walks over to the door and tugs it open. Daisy stands behind it, with Harry behind her. Daisy eyes are wide and innocent and she pleads with him a bladder that's about to burst. Harry's eyes simply rake over Liam's body like he's judging every inch and suddenly the older boy is aware of how naked he actually is.  
  
Liam steps aside, muttering to Daisy that the bathroom is all hers. He abandons the clothes he was going to change in to and slips down the hall in to his and Louis' bedroom. He doesn't feel Harry's presence until he's alreay slipped on boxers and jogging bottoms.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asks, trying to keep his voice even.  
  
Harry settles on the bed like Liam isn't half naked in front of him. "I think he remembered something today."  
  
Liam's heart jumps at that. "Are you sure?!"  
  
"I think.." Harry shrugs. "Have you ever been to the Ivory pub?"  
  
"Conny's place?" Liam nods. "We go there all the time."  
  
Harry's still not smiling. "We went there for lunch and as we walked inside he said ' _the curry here's amazing'_. But when I asked him if he remembered how it tasted, he said he didn't know why he said it."  
  
"Curry isn't on the menu." Liam says softly, the memory flooding back. "Louis was appauld and made a joke of it every time we went back."  
  
"I thought as such." Harry says. "The woman behind the bar greeted him by name and Louis couldn't place her face."  
  
"Conny." Liam breathes. "I hadn't even thought...to ring other people."  
  
"Don't worry, he made a joke of it." Harry shrugs. "You know what Louis' like."  
  
Liam sits down on the bed beside Harry. "I used to think I did."  
  
"He's still the same Louis, Liam." Harry reasures him. "He might not remember you but he's not changed."  
  
Liam rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand, hard enough to see stars. "I hope you're right."  
  
"He slept with you last night, didn't he." Harry nudges him with his arm. "That's a start, right?"  
  
Liam thinks to how he'd woke up this morning, the familarty of it. Louis folded up against him like there was no other place he could ever belong. Then his mind goes back (once again) to when they had first met, how many times they argued over Zayn. Louis was tactile person, anyone who ever came in to contact with him would know that. Some days Liam would drop by Louis' apartment after a lecture, to find him cuddled up to Zayn while watching footy. It hurt Liam at first, they argued about it a lot until one day Zayn sat Liam down and said simply 'you're an arsehole if you think Louis isn't in love with you'. That was the first time Liam had ever spent a good few hours talking to Zayn (about their favourite subject: Louis) but even after that, it still made Liam umcomfortable to see Louis affectionate for people he'd never met.  
  
"I thought you knew Louis." Liam replies vindictivley.  
  
Harry's eyebrows furrow, his face resembling that of a small childs. Liam sighs and pulls himself back up off the bed, heading over to the chest of draws to get a night shirt. Harry stays silent behind him but doesn't move from the bed as Liam pulls the shirt over his head.  
  
"I'm going to sleep." Liam says, using the same tone Louis had the night before.  
  
Harry nods, fringe falling in his eyes. "I'll send Lou in."  
  
Liam almost wants to tell him no but on other hand wants to see if Louis will actually come to bed. When he doesn't reply, the younger boy leaves the room. Liam climbs in to the bed and collects his phone from where he'd left it on the bed side table. There's lot's of missed calls, mostly from Zayn the day of Louis' accident. There's a few missed messages from clients, friends (who had heard about Louis accident) and a few from his mum (who he makes a mental note to call when he has time). Liam clears his feed and presses the number to his voicemail, deleting all the frantic messages from Zayn without really listening to them. It's not until he gets to the very last voicemail, that Louis' voice fills his ears.  
  
 _"Hello Mr Payne-Tomlinson."_ The older boy's happy tone beams through the receiver. _"I guess you left your phone at home to die again. Honestly, how you have your own buisness is beyond me. I was calling to tell you i'd be home early but I guess that's a pointless statement, been as we'll both be at home when you're hearing this message. The lads lost the game against Liverpool and I want consolatory cuddles for that. How long has it been since we've had cuddles on the couch?"  
_  
Theres a pause and  door to the bedroom creaks open, Louis steps in, faces soft and usnsure. Liam offers him a smile, one he hopes reads everything he could want to convey. Though his smile falters when Louis' voice on the receiver says the three words he'd been waiting over two months to hear.  
  
 _"I love you, Liam."_ He pauses again, just ast the Louis in the room steps forward. _"Sometimes I forget how much, or forget to tell you enough. You're the only person who's ever put up with me because he wanted to not because he had to. Zayn says you deserve awards for the shit you put up with. I guess I kind of agree with him, there's times I can be a right pain in the arse."_  
  
The laugh Liam has come to love echoes down the phone line and he doesn't noticed the tear rolling down his cheek until Louis comes forward to wipe it away. The older purches himself on the small gap of matress beside Liam. For the first time his eyes are free and open, just as they had been when Liam had first met him.  
  
 _"I'm sorry for not always being the best boyfriend. God, this voicemail is turning in to something out of those shitty indie films Zayn watches. I hope you laugh at me when you listen to this, tell me how much of an idiot i'm being. Or kiss me, yeah, kiss me. You should definitely kiss me."_  
  
So he does, he leans forward, presses his lips to all to familiar ones and closes eyes.  The kiss is short, like the ones they used to share before leaving each other for the day. Liam's the one to pull back when Louis' hand comes up to rest on his chest, not pushing away but not holding on either.  
  
"How do you do that." Louis says softly, eyes closed.  
  
Liam leans his forehead against Louis, pushes, trying to get the older boy to look at him. "Do what?"  
  
"Make.." Louis  pauses, swallows a breath. "Make my body remember what my mind forgot."  
  
"You rememer?" Liam asks.  
  
"I don't..." Louis sighs. "I can't remember you, or anthing about us."  
  
The words still sting, even if Liam's come to terms with them. The emotions must show on his face because Louis' pushing his forhead more against his, tightening his fingers so their fisting the younger boys shirt.  
  
"When you touch me.." Louis locks his eyes with Liam's. "It's so familiar, it hurts."  
  
The way Louis' voice cracks on the word ' _hurts_ ' makes Liam's heart break. It reminds of a few years ago, when the older boy had first told him about the family he'd had to forget. Louis had been off all that day, to quiet, to sad, to unlike himself, that Liam had to ask questions. He waited until they were about to climb in to their tiny bed (Niall snoring loudly on the couch), to ask. One question _'do you trust me?',_ just that one had caused Louis to tell Liam every secret he'd ever not told. The older boy had tears travelling down his cheeks as he spoke but refused to let Liam comfort him, until he finished speaking. Liam found a lot that day, mostly how Louis took these little hiccupy breathes when he was trying to speak while crying.

It's that memory and Louis' original words that push him to move in to kiss the older lad for a second time. This time Louis pulls him closer, a noise escaping the older lad's throat as Liam parts his lips with his tongue. Liam's hands fall automatically to Louis' hips, his fingertips slipping under Louis' shirt and across the warm skin of his back. The kiss is familiar, and not famliar at the same time. Two contrasts Liam has been trying to deal with a lot over the past couple of weeks.

When they finally part, they're both panting, like both had forgot to breath in the moment. Liam's eyes find Louis' red lips and he really wishes he could spend the night never parted from them.

"I'm tired." Louis says, pulling Liam's attention back to his eyes.

Liam nods, reuctantly moving his hands from where they were still under Louis' shirt. Louis removes his own hand from where it's still twisted in Liam's shirt, and stands up from the bed.  Louis moves across the room to the chest of draws and changes out of his jeans and T, and in to a pair of jogging bottoms that he must know belong to Liam.

As he comes back over to the bed, Liam has to stop himself from staring. He tries to distract himself by picking up his abandoned phone, and ending the call. Louis climbs in to his side of the bed, breathing sharply throug his teeth as he does. Liam again distracts himself, by putting his phone back on his bed side table.

"Do you have to go to work tomorrow?" Louis asks, as Liam switches off the side lamp and lets room fall in to darkness.

Liam settles himself down in the bed, turning his head on his pillow to face Louis. "Why?"

"I was thinking..." Louis starts, turning his head to face Liam. "You could take me to places we used to go to, it might help me remember."

"You want to?" Liam asks, curling his hand around the waistband of his own jogging bottoms, to stop himself reaching out for Louis.

"Hmm..." Louis humms, pressing his cold feet to Liam's calves.

Liam moves his legs to trap Louis' feet between them, trying not to let the large smile break his lips. "Sure."

Louis' breath evens out after that and Liam doesn't know how many hours he spends, wide awake, watching the other sleep.


End file.
